Walgreens
by ShortyLilHalf-and-Half
Summary: Edward goes to Walgreens... don't feel comfortable saying much more... NOT FOR THE FAINT HEARTED! Don't say we didn't warn you! The REAL couple is B/E but doesn't get mentioned too much. ENJOY! Kinda OOC
1. Chapter 1

_**WE'RE NEW TO FANFICTION SO WE'RE JUST SEEING IF THIS WORKS AND WHO WOULD LIKE IT!!!!**_

_**HERE YOU GO!!!!!!!!!**_

I walked into Walgreen's, looking at my feet in the process. This was so embarrassing.

I have never pictured myself in Walgreen's… searching for… _these_.

There was a whole wall of them, crap, why did there have to be so many?

Who the hell would buy glow in the dark condoms? What good would that do? How does that help? _Does_ it?

"Hey, Eddie!" Emmett boomed, him and Jasper started walking toward me.

Could this day get any worse?

"Hi, Edward, what are you doing he…" he looked at the wall I was staring at, his eyes widening.

"Woah, EDDIE CULLEN'S GONNA BECOME A MAN!" he boomed.

Everyone in the store looked at Emmett, their phones flipped open, ready to tell _everyone._

I glared at him.

"Oops…" he shrugged.

I went back to look at the wall of all evil.

"Need some help, Eddie boy?" Emmett asked me. "It's the least we could do."

I didn't want to admit that I did, they noticed.

"Hmm… well… what kind are you looking for?" Emmett asked, how was I supposed to know? "When I was human I liked the glow in the dark ones."

I stared at him, "you're one of them."

He looked confused.

"Okay, back on topic," Jasper gestured toward the wall.

I didn't want to, but the sooner I got out of here, the better.

Why am I even here?

Oh yeah…

_That's_ why…

"Okay… so… what would Bella like?" Jasper asked, trying to remain calm.

"Oh, look, flavored ones!" he walked over to what he saw.

"Hmm…" he mused. "Oh, oh! I got it!"

"What?" I asked.

"You should wear a coconut one, and then, wear a pineapple one, and _then, _Bella will have an after taste of Pina Colada!"

YEAH…

_**KINDA WEIRD…**_

_**BUT WE HOPED YOU LIKE IT!!!!!!!!!**_

_**NEXT CHAPTER UP A.S.A.P. 4 US!!!!!!!!!!!!!!**_

_**xoxo,**_

_**SLHaH**_


	2. Authors's Note Sorry

_**HEY, EVERYONE!…**_

_**SORRY,**_

_**WE ALL KNOW YOU, AND US HATE THESE AUTHORS'S NOTES…**_

_**BUT HERE'S THE THING…**_

_**WE HAD A WHOLE BUNCH OF CHAPTERS ON Aida's LAPTOP…**_

_**AND GUESS WHAT HAPPENED…**_

_**CHICKEN NOODLE SOUP GOT SPILLED ALL OVER IT!!!**_

_**(… sorry from Aida…)**_

_**WE'RE TRYING TO RE-WRITE THEM…**_

_**AND WE HAVE SOME…**_

_**BUT WE ARE…**_

_**REALLY**__** SORRY…**_

_**ESPECIALLY Me (Aida)…**_

_**CAUSE I'M THE ONE WRITING THIS…**_

_**THE NEXT CHAPTERS OF…**_

_**-Miss March**_

_**-Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants**_

_**And**_

_**-Walgreens**_

…

_**WILL DEFINITELY BE IN WITHIN THE NEXT 24-48 HOURS!!!!!**_

_**SORRY…**_

_**AGAIN…**_

_**-ShortyLilHalf-and-Half**_


	3. Chapter 2

_**HERE'S CHAPTER TWO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!**_

_**ENJOY IT!!!!!!!!!!!**_

I stared at him in disbelief.

"_Really_, Emmett?" I asked sarcastically. "_Really?"_

He smiled widely.

"Why are there so many?" Jasper mused, looking at the full wall.

I shrugged.

"Edward?" a deep, almost scruffy voice came from the end of the wall.

"Oh no," I mumbled to myself.

_'What's he doing here?'_ Charlie's thoughts came from the figure.

_'Whoa,' _Emmett's head came in. _'Talk about bad luck!'_

My hand flew to the back of my neck.

"I was just... uh..." was all I got out.

He looked at the aisle of condoms around us...

"What's going on here?" he looked at me, stern and angrily.

"Just helping... Emmett," I almost took Bella's move, biting my bottom lip.

"Uh-huh..." he gave me another look before walking away, debating whether or not to put me in a jail cell.

_'Wonder if Bells knows anything about this,' _he walked out of the store, bag in his hand. _'Looks like I better talk to her.'_

What have I started?

Poor Bella.

"Wow." Emmett said, breaking the silence. "_That _was awkward."

I glared at him.

"Thanks for helping," I spat.

"Your welcome!" he smiled.

I groaned.

"Poor Bella." I murmured outloud, quietly, but outloud.

"Now," Jasper said suddenly. "Let's get back to work."

"Why are you two even here?" I asked them.

"We wanted to help," Emmett announced.

"Why are you _really_ here?" I tried again.

"We thought it would be fun," Jasper smiled.

Em nodded. "We were right."

"Great." I pinched the bridge of my nose. "I'm glad my life is amusing to you. That's just..."

"Great?" Jazz guessed.

"Yeah."

"This is fun." Emmett grinned brigtly.

"Sh!" I shushed him. "I'm trying to listen."

I stood buy the aisle, reading the mind of Charlie as he got home, asking Bella to come down from upstair to talk to him.

She followed his directions, but wondered what was going on. Usually he just went straight to the television, turning on the baseball or football... or some other various sport.

_"Bells, I need to talk to you," he sighed uncomfortably._

_"Sure dad," she sat down next to him._

_"You and Edward seem pretty serious..." he started._

_"And..." she asked worriedly._

_"Well," he stood up. "When two people like each other very, _very_ much..."_

_"Oh please, _please_ no!" she hopped up, burrying her face in her hands. "Please tell me you're not trying to have the sex talk!"_

_"I'm your father," he announced. "I have responsibilities."_

_"Mom already gave it to me about ten years ago!" she laughed, unconvincingly, nervously..._

_"What brought this on, anyway?" she squinted her eyes toward her father._

_"Well..." he sighed. "I just saw Edward at Walgreens..."_

_"Walgreens?" she reapeated. "What was he doing there?"_

_Oh god..._

_**TA DA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!**_

_**THERE IT WAS!!!**_

_**HOPE YOU ENJOYED IT!!!**_

_**IT'S SUMMER NOW...**_

_**SO WE SHOULD BE UPDATING A LOT MORE!!!**_

_**YAY!!!**_

_**-ShortyLilHalf-and-Half**_


	4. Chapter 3

_**SORRY…**_

_**WE HAVEN'T UPDATED IN FOREVER!!!**_

_**BUT HERE'S CHAPTER THREE!!!**_

_Last Time on 'Walgreens'…_

_"What brought this on, anyway?" she squinted her eyes toward her father._

_"Well..." he sighed. "I just saw Edward at Walgreens..."_

_"Walgreens?" she reapeated. "What was he doing there?"_

_Oh god..._

**Chapter Three**

Oh god…

"Eddie…" Emmett voice taunted. "Eddie… Eddarunii? Edwardio? Edbot 3000?"

"What?!" I groaned. "Emmett, what do you want?"

"There's clown-flavored ones…" he pointed to the wall.

"What the hell does a _clown_ taste like?" I raised my eyebrows.

He looked at me evilly, cracking his knuckles. "There's only one way to find out."

"Uh-huh…" I reply.

There is a scream behind me. I see Emmett.

"He left his giant shoe…" he mused suspiciously.

I rolled my eyes and returned my attention to the wall. An annoying sensation coming into my head, it was Emmett's thoughts.

'_Peanuts, peanuts, peanuts, peanuts, peanuts, ect. Walnuts, walnuts, walnuts, walnuts…'_

"Emmett!" I yelled at him.

"Almonds!"

"What?"

"Nothing."

"Look," Jasper walked toward us, "not only are these glow in the dark; they're bubble-gum flavored."

I just stared.

'_Where is that sinner?'_ Charlie's thoughts came into the picture.

"Oh no!" Emmett squealed. "He's back! Hide me!"

I rolled my eyes again.

Just then, Charlie walked up to me.

"I know I can't keep Bella from doing anything," he announced.

"By anything do you mean sex?!" Emmett screams from behind a little girl eating ice cream.

'_Nice hiding spot, Em," _I thought.

_**THERE IT IS…**_

_**WE SHALL WRITE MORE VERY SOON!!!**_

_**SORRY ABOUT THE LATENESS…**_

_**Aida's SISTER IS A COMPUTER HOG!!!**_

_**-Shorty**__**Lil**_**Half**-and-_Half_


	5. AN

**Hey!**

**We just wanted to announced that…**

'**Nessie where do babies come from'…**

**Has been nominated for The Twi-Awards…**

**(yay!!!)**

**In the category, Funniest Ever!**

**So go vote or nominate your favorite stories!!!**

**.com/**

**So…yeah…**

**Sorry we haven't been able to update very much…**

**Naomi's computer doesn't have internet…**

**And me (it's Aida, hey!), I've been going **_**hectic**_** about finishing my first book, which is **_**almost**_** done!!!**

**YAY!!!**

**So…**

**We'll update soon,**

**We'll also have our first FictionPress story: '**_**Irresistible Truth'**_** out soon!**

**WE LOVE YOU ALL!!!**

**-**_**ShortyLilHalf-and-Half**_


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